2014 has come, and is going out just as quickly as it came. It's about time for all of social media to blowup with individuals posting and hashtagging their New Year resolutions for a promise and hope of being better people, better societies, and a better world. 2014 challenged my beliefs, taught me new lessons, gave me love, and closed a chapter with a close friend. As people start flocking to social media to over-share their possesion blessing and God-given grace from being harmed during the year, I find that my strength and beauty has come through being in the trenches.
I'm celebrating my 31st Christmas tomorrow. Since graduating grad school I've had to work multiple jobs to keep up with my bills and overbearing student loan payments. 2013 and 2014 have been hard years as I graduated into the adult world from having been in college for ten years. I felt confident that my degrees would give me multiple opportunities to begin a successful career and start a family. Maybe that was true in 1980, but in 2014 it seems that just having a job is lucky enough. I spent the last year in sorrow with tear stained cheeks wondering why my expensive degree hadn't returned a higher paying job allowing me to fulfill my own desires at having better branded makeup, clothes, and vacations. In the midst of that sorrow, my heart fell heavy each day I graced the threshold of the greedy corporation I worked for where I spent the past three years of my life watching employee benefits slowly start to dissipate. All for what? 40 hours a week spent working to buy more and only satisfy the loan lords. Sometimes spending time with friends was a struggle and I would spend my last $20 just to have a happy hour after work.
Here at the end of 2014, working yet another Christmas Eve, I realize it's my fault. I chastise others for over consuming and bragging on facebook just to entice jealousy and superiority, but that's me too. I'm that person. It is often said that those with the least amount of stuff are those who are happiest and most willing to help others. I think about all the "things" I have in my apartment, and I don't even come to conclusions that I am luckier than most because I don't think the stuff makes me better, or more superior. Maybe it makes me worse. This past year I worked three jobs just so I could pay my bills and have the stuff. When I got the stuff it was good for a moment and then the joy escaped. I was still left empty and with little to no time spent with family and friends. I would cling to the money in my account, and watch every dollar drift out of my checking account so that I could maximize my odds at buying more and having more. It wasn't even about enjoying the stuff anymore--I found myself fantasizing about how others would react when I posted photos of my new things on Instagram and Facebook. Why would I care what all my followers thought about purchases I had made in my own private life? Affirmation. We all want it--nay crave it. In the good ole' days affirmation came from face-to-face interactions, but now we get it from a fabricated source--a place where we can, and do all go to post the best parts of our lives.
Our culture tells us that those who have, work hard, and those who work hard, have. In fact, everything we are as Americans is centered around working to consume. I think deep down, everyone wants more than that. I want more than that.
I'm celebrating my 31st Christmas tomorrow. Since graduating grad school I've had to work multiple jobs to keep up with my bills and overbearing student loan payments. 2013 and 2014 have been hard years as I graduated into the adult world from having been in college for ten years. I felt confident that my degrees would give me multiple opportunities to begin a successful career and start a family. Maybe that was true in 1980, but in 2014 it seems that just having a job is lucky enough. I spent the last year in sorrow with tear stained cheeks wondering why my expensive degree hadn't returned a higher paying job allowing me to fulfill my own desires at having better branded makeup, clothes, and vacations. In the midst of that sorrow, my heart fell heavy each day I graced the threshold of the greedy corporation I worked for where I spent the past three years of my life watching employee benefits slowly start to dissipate. All for what? 40 hours a week spent working to buy more and only satisfy the loan lords. Sometimes spending time with friends was a struggle and I would spend my last $20 just to have a happy hour after work.
Here at the end of 2014, working yet another Christmas Eve, I realize it's my fault. I chastise others for over consuming and bragging on facebook just to entice jealousy and superiority, but that's me too. I'm that person. It is often said that those with the least amount of stuff are those who are happiest and most willing to help others. I think about all the "things" I have in my apartment, and I don't even come to conclusions that I am luckier than most because I don't think the stuff makes me better, or more superior. Maybe it makes me worse. This past year I worked three jobs just so I could pay my bills and have the stuff. When I got the stuff it was good for a moment and then the joy escaped. I was still left empty and with little to no time spent with family and friends. I would cling to the money in my account, and watch every dollar drift out of my checking account so that I could maximize my odds at buying more and having more. It wasn't even about enjoying the stuff anymore--I found myself fantasizing about how others would react when I posted photos of my new things on Instagram and Facebook. Why would I care what all my followers thought about purchases I had made in my own private life? Affirmation. We all want it--nay crave it. In the good ole' days affirmation came from face-to-face interactions, but now we get it from a fabricated source--a place where we can, and do all go to post the best parts of our lives.
Our culture tells us that those who have, work hard, and those who work hard, have. In fact, everything we are as Americans is centered around working to consume. I think deep down, everyone wants more than that. I want more than that.
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