One Door Closed...

It's taken me a long time to be anywhere near OK to even accept the desire to write this post. I'm going to be cliche for a second; I had a dream--it was a simple dream really--I just wanted to be an English teacher.

It happened really quickly, and I was loaded down with little more than a ten pound American literature book and a roster full of students. I read through all their names and tried to imagine with excitement what each student might be like when I met them on my first day. I spent exhausting, yet exciting hours, flipping through the pages of great literature planning the book knowledge and life lessons I would impart to my students. I wanted this job more than anything. It was what I had worked so hard for in college.

Maybe I was a bit idealistic when I entered the job. I guess like every new teacher I thought I could quietly shut my door and share my love for literature and life with my students. Of course I knew about the bureaucracy in education before I signed up--I wanted to teach the worst of the worst; I wanted the inner-city school because I had a heart for those kids--they were the ones I wanted to save--they were the ones I wanted to reach--they were the ones I thought needed the loving teacher--and I had all the love in the world to give them. This year my door stayed open everyday.

My principal told me I was in the wrong profession--maybe she's right. It's taken me two months to recognize that maybe I did indeed pick the wrong field--or maybe the field no longer fits me. I guess I knew all along that I didn't really agree with the educational hoops--but what teacher does? We enter the profession because we love kids and we want to help them. We never sign away our lives to 12 hour work days and unimaginalbe bureaucratic stress because of the pay or the great benefits--we do it for the kids. But since when has education been about the kids? Furthermore, since when has education really been about educating students?

I've tried to rationalize what, at the end of the day, I actually taught my students. Like any teacher trying to swim against the current of unsupportive  administrators and school systems, I resorted to the dreaded worksheet and audio reading in order to barely survive my classes. I had become the teacher I never wanted to be and it broke my heart. But it made me think--is there room in our educational system for that kind of teacher? Just what do we teach our students? Do we care more about whether or not students can memorize Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" or that these students learn that they have a voice and a responsibility in their own society? Do I care if they know what a noun is, or do I care that they can write a complete sentence? Furthermore, how does a standardized test help ensure that my babies are ready to enter the big world that awaits them? Do we care more as an educational system that these students walk across a stage in four years with nothing more in their arsenal of knowledge than the information they memorized in order to pass a multiple choice test? Did my kids realize they could think for themselves? Not at all. They wanted to rely on the system that they have relied on for 17 years. It broke my heart.

It's been two months since my last day of teaching and I can honestly say that I have lost hope in the educational system of America. Teachers are hard workers, and we give away our lives to foster young minds and inspire future generations. I don't want pity, nor does any other teacher--what we want is support. Support our own education by giving us the authority to teach our students--support our discipline practices in the classroom--support our desire to teach the students who show up everyday with a pencil in their hand ready to learn--but mostly, support us professionals who have accepted the calling to be a teacher. For now, Ms. Lightner is signing off as high school English teacher.

My Steak-Sized Beef with Tim Tebow

Let me just start by saying that I DO NOT in any way dislike the person-hood of Tim Tebow. With that being said, I should point out that my argument here is more against the treatment of Tim Tebow by the Christian community. Awesome for Tim Tebow that he uses his position to witness for our savior--love it, it's awesome, and all that. Here's my issue: it appears that Tebow has become somewhat of an idol in the eyes of football crazed Christians and has in many ways become an idol for what we as all Christian's should be doing daily. I've seen it in action--people sit around praising Tebow for his prayerful kneeling on the football field but then enter the workforce on Monday morning like they haven't been to church on Sunday.

Now, let me just be clear--I know this is not ALL Christians, but let's be real--how many of you reading this (myself included as author) have received significant persecution and/or credibility for praising Jesus in the work place? Probably not many. All I am trying to argue with my complaint on the Tebow cult is that 1. Tebow is a human being--he has faults like all of us. I admire his boldness for Christ like I would any other Christian doing the same thing--I don't idolize him for his ability to do it in the NFL. 2. Setting up Tebow as an idol forces us to recognize his failure at some point--he will fail--he is human--at this point he will let many down because he is Christian right? Isn't he supposed to be perfect and awesome? 3. If we all spent as much time praising the work of Christ in our own lives as we do talking about and praising Tebow for praising Jesus then maybe we would see significant changes in our surrounding communities and world. What Tebow on the football field is nothing beyond what we have all been commanded to do by going and making "disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son  and of the Holy Spirit" (Matthew 28:18-20).

Now, with all that off my chest, let me just be clear that just because we like Tebow and what he does, it should in no way allow us to use his likability and Christiandom to judge the rest of the NFL cast, or any human being for that matter. As I mentioned earlier, at the end of this day we are all human beings, even Tebow. We can't assume that we know the hearts of everyone and only Christ has been given authority to judge. Again I say--the problem resides in idolizing an imperfect being.

Finally, I will close my beef with the Tebow cult by saying this: It's great to be his fan, and it's great to admire the man for what he does, but let us not forget the author of his, and our strength--our Lord and Savior--he is who we should be proclaiming and praising. We all have stories, and experiences to share and if we all infested our communities like Tebow does the football field then we would see a revival in our debauched world. In conclusion, I will reiterate, I do not hate, dislike, or feel that I have beat up on the Tebow ;)