Surviving Grad School 700

As graduation slowly approaches, I have been asked by many people: "so, what do you plan on doing now that you are graduating?" I think I probably give a spaced-out blank stare and as I try and search for words, my mouth gapes open and nothing comes out because I have noooooo idea what I plan on doing after graduation, other than slowly return to a state sanity. So the question that I think begs a response is, how does one survive grad school? Wellllllll, let me tell you--there are going to be several important arsenals you are going to want to have in your grad school backpack of tricks, and in critical, descending order they are:

                                                      10.A Housemaid

Your house is going to get super messy and super disorganized. There will be no time for cleaning, doing laundry, or putting up your clothes. If you can't afford one of these, then having a mother will suffice--they are great for filling the void in this category.



9. Starbucks Gold Account:

I can't express the importance of this one enough. The power this card holds will see you through your graduate experience. First, you get free refills on all regular coffees and teas--yes, I said free. Second, after fifteen drink purchases you get a FREE drink of your choice, and that does include the ever so fattening frappacino that, trust me, you will enjoy as a treat every once and a while.

                                                 8. Yoga Pants

Guess what guys? Yoga pants aren't just for moms anymore. That's right, yoga pants are great for the suffering grad student as well-- in fact the ever popular spandexy pants help you easily transition from sleep, working out, going to class, and back to sleep again. Highly recommended purchase.







  7. Hulu/Netflix Account

  TV is going to be a rare occasion, and your definitely not going to be able to afford a regular cable service. Therefore, you're going to have to make it with a Netflix and/or Hulu account. It's not too much of a sacrifice because you will still be able to indulge yourself in all the classic brain-numbing, trashy TV you can handle. Trust me, even though you're working on becoming an intellectual, you're going to need some time with Momma June from Honey Boo Boo so that you can continue to remember why you went back to school in the first place.

6. McDonalds 

 This is one of those love hate kinda things, but, trust me, at the end of the day you are going to appreciate some McDonalds. There are several reasons. 1. Cooking, love it or hate it, you will never have time to do this. Whether you're speeding down the highway at 80 trying to make it from work to class, or your dragging yourself home from a thirteen hour day, cooking isn't going to be your friend. 2. The stress that builds up in your body is going to crave the juicy, carbohydrate filled deliciousness of a double cheeseburger from the dollar menu--yes, you're going to have to eat from the dollar menu, which is part of the reason you're going to McDonalds to begin with.



And your Top Five musts are.............................



5. A Nice Bottle of Wine 

Every once and a while you are definitely going to need a nice glass, or bottle (cough, cough) of wine to help you deal. Some professors will piss you off and make you want to quit;  sometimes your job will make you want to give it all up; sometimes you're not going to think you can make all the deadlines people are placing on you. Trust me, the wine will help.





4. Facebook 

 Go ahead and say bye to your friends and family
because it's going to be a loooong time until you get to spend time with them again. Facebook is going to be your number one communication tool because let's face it, you can be a professional multi-tasker and use this one during class--shhhhh.



3. A Comfy Couch 

Don't worry about having a comfortable bed because chances are you will spend many a short night--and I do say short because your average sleep time is going to drop from that good 8 hours you're used to, to about hmmmmm 4 or 5 hours studying on the couch because it's way more comfortable than the desk chair you bought at the beginning of grad school and pretended to use for two weeks because it made you feel studious.


2. A Jasper

  Alright, I'm pretty biased on this one, but in all seriousness, you need a pet. Your pet is going to love you no matter what and when you have to come home and cry and yell and scream because your professors made you feel like a worthless person, or you have to read 1,000 pages of the worst literature you could ever imagine, then your little fluffy furfriend will be there waiting for you with sweet eyes and a loving embrace and suddenly everything will be better.





And so, the number one grad school survival tool is.........

1. Family and Friends

 They're the only ones that will end up being with you when you come out on the other end, but most importantly they're the only ones that will be ok when you call them crying or worried that your not going to make it. 

 

Changing Titles

There is quite a bit of title changing going on in my life, so I figured, why not change the blog title? Seems an appropriate time to do so. So, I guess you're probably wondering, why a semicolon life? What does that even mean? Does it mean anything? Yes, yes it does and here is the lowdown on how you get to a semicolon kinda life.

 You study grammar for a really, really, and I mean  a REALLY long time and you start to see that you have a sort of weird affection for the poor, little misunderstood semicolon. So many people abuse it; they just don't know how to make room for the semicolon in their life. I always ponder why people misuse the little semi because in all honesty, it's the easiest grammatical function out there folks. Mr., or maybe it's a Ms.--let's not discriminate and forget that composition is inherently masculine and maybe, just maybe in our gender equal society of today the semicolon can be a woman--anyways, I digress. Ms. Semicolon only has one real job--all she does is combine two friendly and complete thoughts--how hard can that be? Two forlorn thoughts separated in space; trying to find a way to grammatically connect--That's my life. At least I feel like I'm the semicolon--somewhere out there in this crazy world trying to connect a few completes into one big explosive whole. And then maybe we are all a bit of a semicolon at times; a small, rarely used and many times overlooked, misused, or misunderstood thing, but at the same time a great and powerful entity that when put in the right place has the power of bringing things together.